Accepting Respite Care: Why taking a break can bring you and your carer closer
Why is something like Respite Care important anyway? No matter what journey we set ourselves onto, there are parts of it that you can neither do alone nor do you want to. It is nice to have the choice of independence, around people you love and want to support. However, not everyone has this choice. For people living with a disability, someone who’s been in an accident, a person recovering from surgery, or the elderly, for example; the need for help might be greater than before. As much as there are residencies available for these situations, not everyone is fond of the idea. The beauty of humanity does take flight in these situations, as people realise who are the ones willing to give anything to make your lives better. As much as the phrase goes, ‘ hold on to these people ’ – it is important to realise that these people aren’t going anywhere and so there isn’t the need to hold on to them so tightly, either. Being cared for by your loved ones and close friends changes the dynamics of a relationship. It exposes both sides to things neither have had reason to share with each other before. This can be confrontational and uncomfortable, but on the plus side, delightful and relieving to shed baggage and open up to each other like never before. But as life takes these new turns, it becomes ever more important to realise how having space can strengthen these connections. We’re talking breaks – for both you and your carer. We’ve all heard and experienced burnout. It’s like deciding to try to burn the candle at both ends, even if there isn’t any wax left. As human as we are, we all have limits to our patience, understanding, tolerance, temper and the list goes on and on! Having these limits isn’t the problem, but you do get to learn where these limits are in situations where the choice to take care or be taken care of, disappears. The last thing either side needs is the feeling of being stuck in circumstance. Circumstance can be unpredictable, but also always changed. Even professionally trained carers get tired. Except they have time to clock in and clock off. With family and friends, these lines are way more blurry than we know. That’s where we come in. Cosy Home & Community Care understands the importance of a break no matter who you are and offers Respite Care for these situations. We also understand how the bond between people trumps any situation and how important it is to keep that alive. However, we can only help when you understand it is perfectly alright to accept Respite Care and call us in. How do you know it’s time to seek Respite? Making the decision to seek Respite Care can happen for many reasons: whether personally motivated or circumstantial. Personal Reasons to want Respite: Sacrifice What began as a willing change of plans for each other, like cancelling a game to take care of someone or not watching your favourite show because a loved one is here to help you take a shower; has now turned into a sacrifice. If left unchecked, these feelings can turn to hostility. Frustration How easy is it to ignore what you’re feeling when there’s stuff to do and people to do it with? Your mind is as important as this stuff to be done- pay attention to it. Neglect Feeling a bit neglected is quite commonly felt by the person being looked after and the career. You may feel like your loved one is obligated and giving too much for your well-being. On the other case, as a carer, you might feel guilty wanting to do things alone and take a break because the person you’re looking after can’t do the same. You’re both entitled to a break- don’t forget that. Exhaustion Sometimes no matter what routine you have set, you function outside of it. Not getting sleep is a good example. Something as small as this can make the next day seem like a lot of extra effort. It’s easy to take it out on the people around us when we’re not in the greatest moods. Recognize these unpredictable situations and communicate them. Extreme cases can also cause either of you to fall ill frequently, which nobody wants to happen. Circumstantial Reasons to need Respite: Clashing Schedules When being taken care of by a loved one or a friend, there are two people’s schedules to work around. These often clash and can cause a lot of stress to just plan it out. An accident or recovery from surgery Such circumstances are uncalled for, but not unheard of. In these situations, the person going through recovery understands the process better than anyone on the outside. It is important to give the person time and understand what he/she needs. As tempting as it is, talking and sharing feelings may not be at the top of that person’s list at the moment. This is perfectly alright. Having a disability Some disabilities require physical assistance to get around. Others call for constant company through daily function, while some may not need assistance at all. Even if it is something small, like you’re a really bad cook, respite can help you learn to like this skill with the right person. Elderly care Growing old is an inevitable process that is not so comfortably talked about, even though it happens to everyone. Sometimes it takes a lot of courage to step out and accept that you’re not as equipped as you used to be to do certain things- either physically or mentally. Travelling Whether you’re a loved one travelling for work, or to take a break; a person being cared for who’s decided to take a holiday, or a live-in carer needing that holiday – Respite is exactly what you need. Your funded Respite isn’t enough Sometimes even the allocated Respite care isn’t enough for your days. You